I’ve fallen in love. And not the kind of love that Taylor Swift practices, but the kind of love that looks me in the eyes and lets me know it will be here forever. The kind that plays the role of older brother, best friend, crush, lover, and fellow adventurer.
I’d like to write you a love letter. Something flowery and perfect, filled with metaphors and similes, that the Bronte sisters wouldn’t hesitate to claim. And I’ve written you those letters, in the moments before I fall asleep, but those are swirlings of emotion, rather than logical words.
You are hot and steamy, but if I leave you too long you turn cold and won’t talk to me. You can be icy and sharp and biting, or you can be warm and chocolaty, and your many moods only intrigue me more.
You make my heart go fast and my insides warm but my toes and fingers cold. You keep me up all night then wake me up in the morning. You coax me to get work done and encourage me when I want to hide away. You inspire me. When I go out with friends at night, you get me pumped up and excited.
You come in so many varieties and no matter how far I go, I see you. You’re good enough to have every day, any hour. You smell good and you make me nervous sometimes, like a middle school kid at a dance. You can be strong and you can be weak and I love you both ways. You’re always game for anything; a sophisticated brunch or watching TV in a Snuggie. No matter how good something is- reading the newspaper, taking a walk, eating breakfast- you always make it better.
I feel like a fool sometimes, because you were always there. I thought about you, or more like the idea of you, but you just never seemed right for me. And then, when things got hard, there you were. Suddenly you went from having nothing to do with me to being my everything. It started out as an occasional flirtation, when I was stressed or tired or didn’t have anything else to do. But as time went on, I started seeing you everywhere. I woke up in the morning and thought about you before anything else.
Sometimes at night, lying awake into the morning, I’ve regretted the things I’ve done with you. I’ve tried to quit you. I told myself I hated feeling so weird and wondering if it was from spending too much time with you or not enough. I spent hours dreaming about your scent and watching for you on the street. I fell in love.
And now, here we are. Me and coffee. Coffee and me. I can put you in a cup and carry you around with me and always have a friend on my side. On a Sunday afternoon, on any day at any time, all I need is you by my side, because you make me strong.
I give to you all of my jittery, caffeinated love.